Don't Call it a Resolution

I’m not a fan of New Year’s. Well, let me rephrase. I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I am, of course, all about the champagne and appetizers, a loud countdown and a boozy kiss marking a new start. But the making (and inevitable breaking) of resolutions always stresses me out. I can’t remember the exact statistic I read last year, but I think it was somewhere near 80% of people who make a resolution have already broken it by February 1^st. What kind of perfectionist wants to set themselves up for that kind of failure? So, this year, I’m not making resolutions per se, but rather looking for focus and setting goals in regard to some specific areas of my life. For 2018, here’s what I would like to do/see/change/better/attempt/tackle:

Read 40 books. Not sure why I chose this number, but it sounded lofty. I love reading and can usually read 2 a month without much effort. But that would only be 24 books, leaving me 16 shy of my goal. Adding 16 more seems difficult, and that’s why I’m going to try. I will have to make an effort to take time to myself, and away from other things, to make this happen.

Find a church home. Given my struggle with my search this year, this is not a foregone conclusion but I am open to continuing to try to find a place where we feel we belong.

Learn to cook. Talk about lofty! I have zero interest in learning to cook. I love to eat, and am fine doing the dishes, but the idea of actually cooking does not tickle my fancy in the least. That’s why it’s on here. It’s a practical life skill and one that I should be able to do. And by “learn to cook” let me be clear: I mean having a few go-to meals in my repertoire, but nothing crazy. I just want to be able to make something that won’t make anyone sick, and won’t make my husband lie to my face about it tasting good. 

Be better on a budget. Let’s face it. Adulting is hard. Parenting is hard. And both ventures are expensive. Jas and I both work full time and make decent money, but it’s amazing how quickly it goes! We have worked hard over the past 18 months to tackle debt and now need to create and sustain a realistic budget. I don’t expect perfection and I doubt we will have saved 25k by this time next year. But if we can look back and see where we saved and honestly say “we did better” that’s good enough for me.

Plan a romantic vacation….and a family trip. Notice, I didn’t say “take a romantic trip and a family vacation” – See point 4. We are in the planning phase. That said, I’m hoping that if we have a specific goal to work towards, we will see quicker progress. Luckily, Hadley is still little and we can take her across the state line and tell her it’s vacation. Unfortunately, Jas has caught on to that kind of “trip” and he’s hoping for something that includes an open bar…

Less attitude, more gratitude. I like to consider myself a grateful person. My many years spent as a social worker showed me first-hand how lucky I am to have grown up in the family I did, and to now have the resources to provide for my daughter. However, I can also cop an attitude pretty quickly and it doesn’t take much for me to pout or, as Jas says, “get toney.” So, this year, I’d like to make a conscious decision to focus more on gratitude in hopes of improving my pesky sour patch attitude that is known to erupt (especially one particular week a month if you catch my drift).

Find my focus. This may be the most difficult task for me, and will likely take longer than 12 months to master. I am hoping to learn how to compartmentalize things in my life a bit more in order to prioritize better. Have you ever heard that a woman’s brain is like pasta and a man’s brain is like a waffle? Right now, my head is like a bowl of fettuccine….full of various noodles all overlapping and affecting one another. What I need is for it to be more like a waffle. 4 nice, tidy compartments that don’t overlap and muddy the waters of its neighbor. This may be completely unrealistic given my personality (or my gender according to many studies, but I’m not one to believe in hard gender lines) but I’m at least going to try. When I’m at work, I want to focus on work and grow my career and carve out a path that I can be proud of. When I’m at home, I want to be at home 100% and focus on my family. Same for when I’m with friends, or family, or at church, or by myself. I need to learn to be in the moment – and appreciate the moment, painful as it may be.

So that’s it. 7 goals for 2018. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to say the cliché “lose 10 lbs, exercise three days a week, drink less wine, sleep 8 hours a night” and actually have those come to fruition. But given my penchant for white wine and carbs, along with my distaste of running and my inability to sleep more than 6 hours a night, I thought I would think outside the box a bit this year. Oh, and Jason....if we can ignore the budget and traveling, we can have baby Number 2. Just saying :) Wish me luck!