Don't Call it a Resolution

I’m not a fan of New Year’s. Well, let me rephrase. I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I am, of course, all about the champagne and appetizers, a loud countdown and a boozy kiss marking a new start. But the making (and inevitable breaking) of resolutions always stresses me out. I can’t remember the exact statistic I read last year, but I think it was somewhere near 80% of people who make a resolution have already broken it by February 1^st. What kind of perfectionist wants to set themselves up for that kind of failure? So, this year, I’m not making resolutions per se, but rather looking for focus and setting goals in regard to some specific areas of my life. For 2018, here’s what I would like to do/see/change/better/attempt/tackle:

Read 40 books. Not sure why I chose this number, but it sounded lofty. I love reading and can usually read 2 a month without much effort. But that would only be 24 books, leaving me 16 shy of my goal. Adding 16 more seems difficult, and that’s why I’m going to try. I will have to make an effort to take time to myself, and away from other things, to make this happen.

Find a church home. Given my struggle with my search this year, this is not a foregone conclusion but I am open to continuing to try to find a place where we feel we belong.

Learn to cook. Talk about lofty! I have zero interest in learning to cook. I love to eat, and am fine doing the dishes, but the idea of actually cooking does not tickle my fancy in the least. That’s why it’s on here. It’s a practical life skill and one that I should be able to do. And by “learn to cook” let me be clear: I mean having a few go-to meals in my repertoire, but nothing crazy. I just want to be able to make something that won’t make anyone sick, and won’t make my husband lie to my face about it tasting good. 

Be better on a budget. Let’s face it. Adulting is hard. Parenting is hard. And both ventures are expensive. Jas and I both work full time and make decent money, but it’s amazing how quickly it goes! We have worked hard over the past 18 months to tackle debt and now need to create and sustain a realistic budget. I don’t expect perfection and I doubt we will have saved 25k by this time next year. But if we can look back and see where we saved and honestly say “we did better” that’s good enough for me.

Plan a romantic vacation….and a family trip. Notice, I didn’t say “take a romantic trip and a family vacation” – See point 4. We are in the planning phase. That said, I’m hoping that if we have a specific goal to work towards, we will see quicker progress. Luckily, Hadley is still little and we can take her across the state line and tell her it’s vacation. Unfortunately, Jas has caught on to that kind of “trip” and he’s hoping for something that includes an open bar…

Less attitude, more gratitude. I like to consider myself a grateful person. My many years spent as a social worker showed me first-hand how lucky I am to have grown up in the family I did, and to now have the resources to provide for my daughter. However, I can also cop an attitude pretty quickly and it doesn’t take much for me to pout or, as Jas says, “get toney.” So, this year, I’d like to make a conscious decision to focus more on gratitude in hopes of improving my pesky sour patch attitude that is known to erupt (especially one particular week a month if you catch my drift).

Find my focus. This may be the most difficult task for me, and will likely take longer than 12 months to master. I am hoping to learn how to compartmentalize things in my life a bit more in order to prioritize better. Have you ever heard that a woman’s brain is like pasta and a man’s brain is like a waffle? Right now, my head is like a bowl of fettuccine….full of various noodles all overlapping and affecting one another. What I need is for it to be more like a waffle. 4 nice, tidy compartments that don’t overlap and muddy the waters of its neighbor. This may be completely unrealistic given my personality (or my gender according to many studies, but I’m not one to believe in hard gender lines) but I’m at least going to try. When I’m at work, I want to focus on work and grow my career and carve out a path that I can be proud of. When I’m at home, I want to be at home 100% and focus on my family. Same for when I’m with friends, or family, or at church, or by myself. I need to learn to be in the moment – and appreciate the moment, painful as it may be.

So that’s it. 7 goals for 2018. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to say the cliché “lose 10 lbs, exercise three days a week, drink less wine, sleep 8 hours a night” and actually have those come to fruition. But given my penchant for white wine and carbs, along with my distaste of running and my inability to sleep more than 6 hours a night, I thought I would think outside the box a bit this year. Oh, and Jason....if we can ignore the budget and traveling, we can have baby Number 2. Just saying :) Wish me luck! 

Best Nine 2017

2017 has been amazing. And hard. And fun. And challenging. And rewarding. It brought with it a lot of firsts, plenty of laughs, many tears, a ton of laundry, a plethora of dishes, a few curse words, a couple of days we would take back, and a majority of days we would not. We are a team, and through the laughs and the tears and the endless poopy diapers, I wouldn’t trade a thing. We are a family, albeit an in-perfect one. But we love the hell out of each  other and work every day to give our baby (who isn’t really a baby these days) the best of who we are. I’m thankful to this year for the good, the bad, the tears, the laughs and the lessons we learned. But most of all, I’m grateful for my little family and I can’t wait to see the adventures that await us in 2018. 

80s Baby

I am a child of the 80's....mid 80's to be exact. Looking back at pictures from when I was little never fails to bring about a good laugh. The hair, the clothes, the cars, the wallpaper. All so dated! I swear when I think about my mom it's not what she looks like now, but rather what she looked like when I was little. She stayed at home with us and her standard outfit was a pair of aqua blue wind pants, white Keds and a March of Dimes t-shirt. This look, which did nothing to accentuate her tiny figure, was topped off with hair that was inexplicably frosted (which made her look older). Oh, how I love looking back at those pictures! 

Funny enough, I now see some of these fashions coming back around (I guess that's what happens with fashion. I wouldn't know seeing as how I live in jeans with my hair in a pony, but I read enough US Weekly to know that's the trend). Today when I got Hadley dressed, I saw first hand that I am creating a baby of the 80's. She is rocking a puffy coat and scrunchie that brought about fond memories of Stephanie Tanner from Full House.  

Also, I think she should become the new face of Welch's Fruit Snacks. We should buy stock in that company given the way she goes through those and, before finishing an open bag, asks sweetly "more nack please, more nack." 

Shutting Down 2017

I can't believe that 2017 is almost over. That means we have been in KC almost 5 years, we have been married 4 years, and we have an almost 2 year old! This year has been a wild one, wonderful in the best ways and terrible only some of the time, which makes us luckier than most I know. December in particular was a joyful, and busy, and stressful time. I felt like it deserved it's own post, so here is a recap of our month. 

12/10/17 - Jason's birthday and one of my favorite days of the year. I arranged for a weekend getaway to the historic town of Weston, MO. We enjoyed a baby free night at a rustic B&B, complete with too much wine, lots of tasty food, a dip in the hot tub and a dance with the bartender of a honky tonk (that was me, not Jason). 

12/14/17 - This is what it looks like when your toddler insists on picking out her own clothes. Yes, that’s a raincoat. And yes, she is rocking boots with sweat pants. Under said sweatpants are blue bloomers and she has two different colored socks on. I told her she looked great and she was clearly very proud of herself! 

12/17/17 - Jas left to travel to VA, so Hadley and I visited a new church at the invite of a coworker. I'll admit it, I rode a mom high that day. We received several compliments on Hadley's behavior and good manners at church adn the store and I was feeling good. My confidence waned a bit when she cried while wearing pull ups, but I felt better again once she finally went potty before bedtime. I rode the high through the tear free morning, until the moment we were heading out the door and the dog tried to steal her cereal. Hadley looked right at Gracen and, without batting an eyelash, she called her a dick. Still waiting on my Mom of the Year Award to arrive...

12/22/17 - 7 years ago on this date, I went on a blind date. Set up by my little sister, I went thanks to the "gentle" urging of my mom who (truthfully) declared, "You're broke and it's a free meal with a nice guy." Little did I know, that funny guy (who was in fact nice and pretty cute) would quickly become my person. And that person would become my best friend, partner in crime and, eventually, my husband. Then that amazing man became the father of our daughter and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for the gifts in my life. Jason, thank you for being my person. And to Hadley, thank you for making me who I am. You will be two years old exactly one month from today and that is something I can't believe!

12/23/17 - Jason and I took the baby to Crown Center to visit Santa. That plan quickly backfired at the site of a 2.5 hour line, so instead we shopped and then ate lunch at Fritz's. This local legend is a fun experience where you call in your order from a phone on the table and your food is delivered via train. The food was just okay, but the experience was fun! 

12/24/17 - Christmas Eve we unintentionally visited a new church thanks to a miscommunication with my sister. But, per tradition, we all met at Waffle House and the girls couldn't have been cuter in their matching outfits. 

12/24/17 - A White Christmas! When I dreamed of a White Christmas, I was thinking more along the lines of a nice Sauvignon Blanc, but Hadley enjoyed the snow. 

Dear Santa, 

I know I'm a little late to the game, but you should know I have intense stranger danger these days, and honestly, you're a bearded old man I don't know, so you shouldn't be offended that I didn't want to meet you in person. That said, I still tried about 56% of the time to be good. The other 44%, I wasn't even that bad - I just refused to listen, or sit on the potty or I wasn't sweet or I threw a tantrum for no reason. You know my parents (i.e. my dad) so clearly I came by some of that naughty behavior nautrally. But I am excited to see what all the fuss is about so if you're in the neighborhood tonight, I'd love for you to stop in and leave some goodies. I promise to open them first thing in the morning (probably after second breakfast if I'm being honest). I'm not too particular since my interests change everyday, but I know my parents could use some booze. You know, to deal with the 44%? Thanks in advance for taking this last minute request and I'll promise to consider sitting with you next year...and will likely melt down accordingly. Merry Christmas and give Rudolph a kiss from me! 

Love,
Hadley 

12/25/17 - Happy Birthday Jesus! What a magical Christmas it is when experienced through the eyes of a child. 

12/26/17 - We enjoyed one last day at home before getting back to our routine and I took the day to see how Hadley would do wearing her new "big girl panties." Despite pooping on the floor once, the rest of the day was a success and she stayed dry throughout her nap. I think she may only try to potty so that she can earn an M&M, but I'm not going to complain. Operation No More Diapers has started and I am hoping we are getting closer to the days we can stop giving a third of our paycheck to Pampers. 

12/27/17 - Hadley was sent back to school so Jason and I could enjoy date day. In true tired Mama fashion, I wore sweats and no makeup. We ignored the laundry and the dishes and enjoyed a boozy lunch and an afternoon movie. It was perfect! 

In Case You Missed it....

You must not be on social media. Pretty sure all of these images have been posted on either Instagram or Facebook in the past several months, but I'm sharing them again here in an effort to get going again on the blog. 

July 2017: 

August 2017: 

September 2017: 

October 2017:

November 2017: